I got saved just before my 18th birthday. I wasn't raised in church so the concept of God was very new to me. I came from a world where a lot of things were acceptable that aren't acceptable in God's eyes.
The night I got saved God took many desires away from me. I finally had the love and freedom I had always searched for, and I found it in the very thing I had purposely run from. My favorite scripture when I got saved was James 4:4 "...Whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God." It was on this night I received my calling from God and when I was literally transformed into a new person.
I was on fire for Jesus and running from everything that had once held me bound! I know its cliche', but I cannot with words describe the feeling I felt after that night. There was a lot I didn't know though. The enemy of God, our enemy, will continually attack you with the things you used to struggle with. One phrase used by a lot of preachers that I simply abhor is "Satan is a stupid devil". We war against principalities of darkness who are extremely intelligent. They can twist the word of God, (Such as what Satan did against Jesus), they speak negatively into your life and they can tempt you with the EXACT things they know will have the most affect on you.
My testimony shows that. As time passed and I started pursuing my calling, I also fell. I made some mistakes. I had betrayed God. I no longer wanted to enter into His presence during worship. Avoiding the Holy Spirit, avoiding prayer and sitting in my own doubt and shame had become commonplace. Here I was, a guy who had been so passionate for the things of God, hurting before God. I know I wasn't the first for this to happen. One of the most well-known figures of the Bible went through these same problems. David, the great King of Israel, fought shame and made mistakes.
Psalm 25:16-18
"Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins."
So, I continued like this. I stayed in church, I worked in the media department and just kind of stayed away. I just couldn't fully sever my relationship with Him, and praise God He didn't let me go! Months passed and during the worship on a Wednesday night service I could feel the presence of God. He was there. The congregation was praising God and it was just tangible. Almost as if you could reach out and touch it. I was standing and avoiding His presence. The best way I can describe it is locking yourself in a closet when there is a huge celebration going on in the room.
I was ashamed. God doesn't want me anymore, right? I had failed him. I had made God look bad. I had disgraced not only myself but the very Creator of the universe! After fighting within myself for several minutes I "stepped into" the presence of God. I opened up my heart to him. Now, in my mind and in my spirit I envisioned myself coming literally into His presence just as I was standing there. My head was down, arms to my side and my heart broken. That night God spoke to me. He said, "Lift up your head. You are my son, not a son of perdition."
I broke down. You see God has every right to give up on us. God doesn't have to love you like He does, but His very essence is love. In 1 John 4 we are taught that God is love. God is love? Yes! The Bible describes this love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
"Love(God) is patient and kind; love(God) does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love(God) bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love(God) never ends."
God's love is that powerful. We find it throughout the Bible.
Colossians 2:14: "by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross."
God wants us. It is the continuing theme in His Word. If we can lay down our shortcomings, lay down our pride and our flaws, and just run into His arms leaving this world behind, He will ALWAYS be there to embrace us. Today, if you feel like in your life that there is something keeping you from Him, just let it go. Turn from it and go straight to God. If the enemy is telling you that God is fed up with you and doesn't want you... the devil is a lie! Both my testimony and the Word of God can attest to that.
God bless you! If you're ever in need of someone to talk to, we are available for you!
~Deuce
2/25/2014
PS: Below is a human video (skit) that really impacted me when I was in youth group.
The night I got saved God took many desires away from me. I finally had the love and freedom I had always searched for, and I found it in the very thing I had purposely run from. My favorite scripture when I got saved was James 4:4 "...Whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God." It was on this night I received my calling from God and when I was literally transformed into a new person.
I was on fire for Jesus and running from everything that had once held me bound! I know its cliche', but I cannot with words describe the feeling I felt after that night. There was a lot I didn't know though. The enemy of God, our enemy, will continually attack you with the things you used to struggle with. One phrase used by a lot of preachers that I simply abhor is "Satan is a stupid devil". We war against principalities of darkness who are extremely intelligent. They can twist the word of God, (Such as what Satan did against Jesus), they speak negatively into your life and they can tempt you with the EXACT things they know will have the most affect on you.
My testimony shows that. As time passed and I started pursuing my calling, I also fell. I made some mistakes. I had betrayed God. I no longer wanted to enter into His presence during worship. Avoiding the Holy Spirit, avoiding prayer and sitting in my own doubt and shame had become commonplace. Here I was, a guy who had been so passionate for the things of God, hurting before God. I know I wasn't the first for this to happen. One of the most well-known figures of the Bible went through these same problems. David, the great King of Israel, fought shame and made mistakes.
Psalm 25:16-18
"Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins."
So, I continued like this. I stayed in church, I worked in the media department and just kind of stayed away. I just couldn't fully sever my relationship with Him, and praise God He didn't let me go! Months passed and during the worship on a Wednesday night service I could feel the presence of God. He was there. The congregation was praising God and it was just tangible. Almost as if you could reach out and touch it. I was standing and avoiding His presence. The best way I can describe it is locking yourself in a closet when there is a huge celebration going on in the room.
I was ashamed. God doesn't want me anymore, right? I had failed him. I had made God look bad. I had disgraced not only myself but the very Creator of the universe! After fighting within myself for several minutes I "stepped into" the presence of God. I opened up my heart to him. Now, in my mind and in my spirit I envisioned myself coming literally into His presence just as I was standing there. My head was down, arms to my side and my heart broken. That night God spoke to me. He said, "Lift up your head. You are my son, not a son of perdition."
I broke down. You see God has every right to give up on us. God doesn't have to love you like He does, but His very essence is love. In 1 John 4 we are taught that God is love. God is love? Yes! The Bible describes this love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
"Love(God) is patient and kind; love(God) does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love(God) bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love(God) never ends."
God's love is that powerful. We find it throughout the Bible.
Colossians 2:14: "by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross."
God wants us. It is the continuing theme in His Word. If we can lay down our shortcomings, lay down our pride and our flaws, and just run into His arms leaving this world behind, He will ALWAYS be there to embrace us. Today, if you feel like in your life that there is something keeping you from Him, just let it go. Turn from it and go straight to God. If the enemy is telling you that God is fed up with you and doesn't want you... the devil is a lie! Both my testimony and the Word of God can attest to that.
God bless you! If you're ever in need of someone to talk to, we are available for you!
~Deuce
2/25/2014
PS: Below is a human video (skit) that really impacted me when I was in youth group.