When I say women, what do you see? (one of my longest postings, enjoy!) Part 2 will contain the second point to this message (a women's power in ministry).
Today I watched a video (secular) talking about something we as a culture, and as a church, tend to ignore. Now, I will say, that I think there are some fundamental differences between myself and the author of the video, but I also think she makes very relevant points.
Her subject matter: Sexual Objectification. I would like to add onto that. Also, as a culture, I think we belittle the power of what a woman is.
Here is a link to the video (Click me). Forewarning: This video DOES contain profanity. The lady who made this video is Laci Green and you can see her and what she does by clicking on her name. Some of her content might not be ok for everyone, but I only feel its right to give credit where its due!
Now, to my points:
1. Sexual Objectification:
I think its agreeable by everyone to say we live in a highly sexualized culture. Its hard to avoid. If you own cable television, have an internet provider or walk outside past your own driveways you see it everyday. Every television show has a token "hot girl", every mannequin in the mall is clothed with size 0 (is that the smallest? I'm kinda shooting from the hip on sizes lol, those things are tiny!) skimpy outfits (who really wants to see mannequin mid-drift or mannequin cleavage, I mean come on.)
Today I watched a video (secular) talking about something we as a culture, and as a church, tend to ignore. Now, I will say, that I think there are some fundamental differences between myself and the author of the video, but I also think she makes very relevant points.
Her subject matter: Sexual Objectification. I would like to add onto that. Also, as a culture, I think we belittle the power of what a woman is.
Here is a link to the video (Click me). Forewarning: This video DOES contain profanity. The lady who made this video is Laci Green and you can see her and what she does by clicking on her name. Some of her content might not be ok for everyone, but I only feel its right to give credit where its due!
Now, to my points:
1. Sexual Objectification:
I think its agreeable by everyone to say we live in a highly sexualized culture. Its hard to avoid. If you own cable television, have an internet provider or walk outside past your own driveways you see it everyday. Every television show has a token "hot girl", every mannequin in the mall is clothed with size 0 (is that the smallest? I'm kinda shooting from the hip on sizes lol, those things are tiny!) skimpy outfits (who really wants to see mannequin mid-drift or mannequin cleavage, I mean come on.)
Why is this ----------------------------------------->
the norm?
And while yes, I do understand that it is perfectly fine for a store to sell whatever it wants and I don't think stores are inherently bad because of their mannequins, but how many stores do you know put modest attire on their displays?
Hear me out, if you go to almost any store in a major mall, you're actually going to find more "modest" and "clean-cut" clothing than you are clothing that shows off the male or female body in a sexual way. However, on display you will find, for the most part, something like I've pictured above. It is clear the message these displays are making. This outfit will show off your sexuality. Then we are perplexed at why our teenagers participate in sex of all kinds without hesitation. We ask why single parent households are on the rise. These displays are only one example of many.
Why are we not, as a church, fighting this? Yes there are many great Christian men and women who create not only clothing, but teach about morality. I think we need more. I believe we're fighting against the fruit from the tree instead of taking on the tree head on. One of the roots of this tree is we have limited a woman's power to her sexuality.
She has power because she is a woman of God, not because she is an attractive potential mate.
Everyone one knows the correlation between Proverbs 31 and a woman/wife. I mean, that Scripture has set the gold standard for what an adult woman of God should look like, right? So, with that in mind, lets read what it says. Yes, it is a bit lengthy, so if you're familiar with the passage, just refresh yourself :).
Proverbs 31:10-31
"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.The heart of her husband trusts in her,and he will have no lack of gain.She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.
She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.
She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates."
First thing that jumps out at you is, WOW, that is a lot of detail. It begins by displaying this woman's great qualities from her generosity, to her intelligence and her prowess for business. She is fiscally responsible, a dedicated mother, a loyal wife and represented as strong! (She works outs!) So, in that detail we would expect this incredible example of a woman to be detailed in all her physical beauty, right? Nope. The only time physical beauty comes into play is towards the end of the chapter when the writer warns that beauty is vanity.
Beauty in itself isn't bad. I'm not saying to dress yourself in shabby clothes and cover yourself in mud, but I think we as a society have taken the initial step of attraction (physical attraction) and made it into the last step and most important. No longer do we look for a friend, confidant and partner in life, but we look for someone with sex appeal. Then, we're left wondering, what next?
While it lists her all around wonder-woman like abilities, it doesn't list her beauty as one of her greater attributes. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not at all saying that physical attraction is wrong, or that it doesn't play a role in choosing your partner. I'm a firm believer that you have to be attracted to someone before your go any further than that. This just shows though that there is more to a woman that the sum of her parts. For a true, life-long, committed relationship, there has to be more.
Instead of physical attraction being the starting point of a relationship, it has become the end all/be all. If you don't have a smoking hot boyfriend/girlfriend, or you don't possess a plethora of sexual experience you are viewed as inferior. Therein also lies a double standard, as men are viewed as inferior to other men, but women who have sexual experience are then viewed as inferior to society as a whole. (Both are so, so wrong. I'm thankful to serve a Jesus who forgives!)
the norm?
And while yes, I do understand that it is perfectly fine for a store to sell whatever it wants and I don't think stores are inherently bad because of their mannequins, but how many stores do you know put modest attire on their displays?
Hear me out, if you go to almost any store in a major mall, you're actually going to find more "modest" and "clean-cut" clothing than you are clothing that shows off the male or female body in a sexual way. However, on display you will find, for the most part, something like I've pictured above. It is clear the message these displays are making. This outfit will show off your sexuality. Then we are perplexed at why our teenagers participate in sex of all kinds without hesitation. We ask why single parent households are on the rise. These displays are only one example of many.
Why are we not, as a church, fighting this? Yes there are many great Christian men and women who create not only clothing, but teach about morality. I think we need more. I believe we're fighting against the fruit from the tree instead of taking on the tree head on. One of the roots of this tree is we have limited a woman's power to her sexuality.
She has power because she is a woman of God, not because she is an attractive potential mate.
Everyone one knows the correlation between Proverbs 31 and a woman/wife. I mean, that Scripture has set the gold standard for what an adult woman of God should look like, right? So, with that in mind, lets read what it says. Yes, it is a bit lengthy, so if you're familiar with the passage, just refresh yourself :).
Proverbs 31:10-31
"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.The heart of her husband trusts in her,and he will have no lack of gain.She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.
She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.
She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates."
First thing that jumps out at you is, WOW, that is a lot of detail. It begins by displaying this woman's great qualities from her generosity, to her intelligence and her prowess for business. She is fiscally responsible, a dedicated mother, a loyal wife and represented as strong! (She works outs!) So, in that detail we would expect this incredible example of a woman to be detailed in all her physical beauty, right? Nope. The only time physical beauty comes into play is towards the end of the chapter when the writer warns that beauty is vanity.
Beauty in itself isn't bad. I'm not saying to dress yourself in shabby clothes and cover yourself in mud, but I think we as a society have taken the initial step of attraction (physical attraction) and made it into the last step and most important. No longer do we look for a friend, confidant and partner in life, but we look for someone with sex appeal. Then, we're left wondering, what next?
While it lists her all around wonder-woman like abilities, it doesn't list her beauty as one of her greater attributes. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not at all saying that physical attraction is wrong, or that it doesn't play a role in choosing your partner. I'm a firm believer that you have to be attracted to someone before your go any further than that. This just shows though that there is more to a woman that the sum of her parts. For a true, life-long, committed relationship, there has to be more.
Instead of physical attraction being the starting point of a relationship, it has become the end all/be all. If you don't have a smoking hot boyfriend/girlfriend, or you don't possess a plethora of sexual experience you are viewed as inferior. Therein also lies a double standard, as men are viewed as inferior to other men, but women who have sexual experience are then viewed as inferior to society as a whole. (Both are so, so wrong. I'm thankful to serve a Jesus who forgives!)
As you can see, I have an incredibly beautiful wife, but, that isn't why she is my wife. My wife is not only incredibly beautiful, but incredibly intelligent. She graduated as a nurse (LPN) at eighteen years old. She was a FFA State Champion in High School.
Amy is also fiscally responsible. She earns her own money, but uses it responsibly. She has a brand new car and has a high credit score at twenty-one years of age. She is leaps and bounds ahead of many of her peers.
Yes, I am bragging about her, but because there is more to her than the initial "WoW" moment. That is what our generation, men and women, have to realize. We can't portray ourselves, our friends, or strangers, as objects but as subjects, like Ms. Green mentions. My wife isn't limited to her beauty. She is a creature that can't be limited to a few syllables strung together to define one part of who she is.
Physical attraction is necessary, but it is only the beginning of a potential journey, not the end of it. The prophet Isaiah said it this way "the grass withers, and the flower fades..." There has to be more in our lives. There has to be something deeper.
Which leads me to the question, when I say "women", what do you see? We can't get the change what we want in the church and the world until we change ourselves. Myself included. This is how we get our young boys and grown men to stop chasing every girl they see and find a woman they can be with. This is how we help our young girls and women have more pride in themselves and not have to worry about how they look and what everyone will think if they don't wear make up and skintight clothes everyday. Self-respect is more needed than self righteousness. If you want to promote a physical image, lets focus on health, not looks.
I know this message might have stepped on some toes, but its time we start really fighting for what we believe in and stop putting bandaids on everyone after they've already been hurt.
Fair warning, part two will step on just as many toes :P Love ya'll!
God bless,
~Deuce
1/24/2014
Amy is also fiscally responsible. She earns her own money, but uses it responsibly. She has a brand new car and has a high credit score at twenty-one years of age. She is leaps and bounds ahead of many of her peers.
Yes, I am bragging about her, but because there is more to her than the initial "WoW" moment. That is what our generation, men and women, have to realize. We can't portray ourselves, our friends, or strangers, as objects but as subjects, like Ms. Green mentions. My wife isn't limited to her beauty. She is a creature that can't be limited to a few syllables strung together to define one part of who she is.
Physical attraction is necessary, but it is only the beginning of a potential journey, not the end of it. The prophet Isaiah said it this way "the grass withers, and the flower fades..." There has to be more in our lives. There has to be something deeper.
Which leads me to the question, when I say "women", what do you see? We can't get the change what we want in the church and the world until we change ourselves. Myself included. This is how we get our young boys and grown men to stop chasing every girl they see and find a woman they can be with. This is how we help our young girls and women have more pride in themselves and not have to worry about how they look and what everyone will think if they don't wear make up and skintight clothes everyday. Self-respect is more needed than self righteousness. If you want to promote a physical image, lets focus on health, not looks.
I know this message might have stepped on some toes, but its time we start really fighting for what we believe in and stop putting bandaids on everyone after they've already been hurt.
Fair warning, part two will step on just as many toes :P Love ya'll!
God bless,
~Deuce
1/24/2014